What is Intimacy?


What is intimacy? And why is it so hard to find? I hear from so many men that intimacy is painfully lacking in their lives. Especially when the intimacy they are seeking is connected to their erotic lives. We all long for deep intimate connections, but finding intimacy is as elusive as finding the Holy Grail.

Some believe they need to be in long term monogamous relationships in order to find intimacy. From my years as a sacred intimate, I can tell you, intimacy is available at all times even with complete strangers. All it takes is the shared decision and desire to to there and understanding the barriers that prevent us from fully arriving.


Intimacy is spiritual in nature. It is a state of enlightenment. Some spiritual seekers believe enlightenment is a rare dramatic event. That clouds part and some deity comes down to gift a fixed state of enlightenment to a very few dedicated people, but enlightenment is actually common. It happens all the time, if only for moments at a stretch. Intimacy is an extended experience of enlightenment that emerges from within our bodies, mind and spirits.


As we reach to intimacy, our egos relax. Egos thrive on a feeling of separateness. Intimacy is the opposite of feeling separate. It is a feeling of softer boundaries as we spiritually merge. Egos will do everything they can to stay in control by putting up mental resistance. Knowing how our egos will react is a key component to creating intimacy.


In intimacy, our thinking slows down. We arrive in present moment awareness like those who regularly meditate. The shift in consciousness is deep and long lasting. In intimacy we arrive in a spiritual union of peace and connection with another person. It feels so good. There is no where else we would rather be.


The simple peace of intimacy might make it seem unnoticeable. For an exalted state of enlightenment, it seems unremarkable. But when we arrive fully in intimacy with another, there is no mistaking its healing power.


This fall I will be offering a Course in Intimacy. In this course, we will identify intimacies essence and chart many sensual paths to its door. Please let me know if you would like to come along.

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